Return of the Renaissance Woman

Four years ago (a whole Olympiad) I wrote a blog post titled Embracing My Inner Renaissance Woman. This was after five years trying (& failing) to “niche down” and choose one creative career. All of the business classes said that would lead to success. But I wasn’t successful. I was depressed and burned out.

Stifling my curiosity had also suffocated my art. 

When I began embracing my inner Renaissance Woman I let curiosity take the lead. I carved block prints, made autumnal crowns, learned to crochet, shot self portraits, gardened, cross stitched, painted, bought a kiln, and taught myself stop motion animation.

But it didn’t last.

The next year I was so hyperfocused on the podcast Kindle Curiosity that I overcommitted to a recording and upload schedule that left no time for the other projects. 

The niching wasn’t intentional this time, but it happened all the same.

I spent hours and hours each week editing, writing show notes, and creating audio teasers. Interviews started in February and continued every other week through October which was a huge drain on this introverted and autistic soul. But all of the amazing people I invited said yes so I kept on recording.

Six months into podcasting I was expecting David. Burnout quickly became prenatal depression. My body and mental health deteriorated to the point I all I could do was prepare for the baby. I looked around at other expectant mothers who continued to work or create and I felt broken. 

When David was born I had an amazing jolt of energy. (That’s when I drafted my book, founded NW Arkansas Mother Artists, and designed my Kindle Deck.) But as we locked down for COVID (when he was 10 months) my depressive symptoms came back with a vengeance.

But this time it wasn’t depression at all. It was autistic burnout caused by overstimulation and continuing to ignore my limits.

I finally realized I could not push through everything with sheer force of will.

It was becoming clear that COVID was not a short term situation so we ordered a shed to become my backyard studio & quiet place. That was a brilliant idea, but it took six months before it was finished (during which time my mental health continued to tailspin.)

When it was finally done in January there was all the promise of a fresh start. I would have mornings to myself while David went to half days at Montessori school. But we weren’t prepared for him to bring home every single strain of cold and flu in NW Arkansas. Because we are an immunocompromised household we caught everything. I really struggled with the decision to keep sending David to school, but we persevered. One of us was sick for 2-3 weeks out of each month from January to May.

It felt like it would never end.

During this time I was lucky to use my studio one morning a week. When Davy was in the studio with me I worked incrementally on a large weaving. When he was at school I plugged away at turning my first book chapter into a creative retreat.

Progress was so slow it felt nonexistent.

When I finally finished Mother, Interrupted in June it felt like a huge milestone. 

In the time that followed I began to feel like myself again. I made pottery, started a soft sculpture, recorded podcasts & YouTube videos, carved a studio sign, learned to shoot 360 VR, started art therapy, launched a creative retreat, and discovered the Messy Middle. 

Around this time my artist mother friend Jocelyn Mathewes commented, “You are doing all the things!”

And I realized I was back!

This is me.

Embracing my inner Renaissance Woman.

This is the creative ecosystem that I thrive in.

My neurodivergent synapses love making connections between multiple projects and weaving them together. Starting projects and letting them simmer away on a back burner.

I want to start talking about this again! About being multipassionate artists. A lot of us feel guilty if we jump between projects. But having multiple passions doesn’t mean that you’re shiftless or uncommitted to your art. 

And here’s the proof:

Six months of inconsistent weaving, writing, and haphazardly throwing literal seeds into my garden ultimately led to a finished weaving, a creative retreat, and a billowing wave of Cosmos blowing among the weeds in my garden bed.

Having multiple projects on the go actually enabled me to pursue my creativity in the tiny pockets of time that I had.

If I had instead tried to write (or weave) consistently each & every day I would have felt like a giant failure and probably given up altogether.

Let’s make space for multidisciplinary magic. ✨

Let’s be Renaissance Women.

P.S. If you have a Renaissance Woman spirit, but are finding it hard to create at the moment I see you. Don’t give up. Make when you can & take care of yourself. 💕

P.P.S. Men too obviously, but men are often given permission to pursue their interests in a way that women are not. There’s a reason you’ve only heard of a Renaissance MAN. 🙄

Hello darkroom my old friend

My final semester as a fine art student I devised a darkroom technique for brushing or splattering developer onto the photographic paper. The result looks like something straight out of photoshop,  but it is completely analogue. It’s magical. ✨

I’ve often bemoaned my lack of darkroom facilities to continue exploring this technique. 

Enter cyanotype (sometimes called sun printing.)

Mom and I had a play a few years ago. We used pretreated paper which is a great entry into cyanotype.

(This piece is Mom’s. The gingko leaves make such a nice bold silhouette.)

When I learned you could mix up a solution to make any paper / fabric / pottery light sensitive I knew I had to try. I eventually ordered the supplies, but was so busy editing the Kindle Curiosity podcast I never got to it.

When Olivia invited me to participate in her “I am an artist” collab I knew the time was right! (After all I had been hoarding the supplies for 3-4 years.) I did a few tests and ultimately ended up applying the solution with a brush in the same way I used to do in the darkroom. The upside to cyanotype is you don’t need a darkroom! You expose the image with sunlight!

You can read more about my inspiration for this piece here. Olivia featured a whole series of artists who each put their own stamp on her interactive print. If you want to make your own you can find them stocked in her Etsy store.

I’m so excited to see where this will lead! Thanks for the prompt Olivia. 💙

What is a creative coach?

You may wonder why I've started calling myself a Creative Coach. It's something I've been drawn to for a few years, but have struggled to name.

I considered words like mentor or teacher, but they just weren't RIGHT.

Maybe I feel this on a visceral level because I coached gymnastics for so many years. I have a very specific idea of what it means to coach. Its a huge part of my identity that's laid dormant for some time.

A “mentor” feels like someone you meet for coffee. They're further along in their career and share stories about their experience in the field. They might even introduce you to some important business connections. They're great. I've had several and love them dearly. But a mentor is not a coach.

A “teacher” imparts a specific skill or knowledge set. I teach at times, but a teacher is not a coach.

A rare photo from my decade coaching gymnastics.

A coach is there with you in the sweat and the chalk. It's not about what they know or who they know. It's about you. How you can thrive, grow, and reach your potential.

And good coaching is holistic. Alongside physical fitness it also knows the importance of rest, healing, and mental health.

So much of gymnastics is mindest. It's about overcoming fear. Doing the work and then trusting yourself. Getting up when you fall to try again.

There are so many parallels that translate directly to the creative process. I could write a book about it.

That is why I call myself a creative coach. I'm not here to hand out cookie cutter advice or tell you how I do things.

We'll work together to find YOUR best way.

Every artist is different and so are the conditions you need to thrive. I can't do the work for you, but I can support you every step of the way.

100 Days of VR

I’m embarking on my first 100 Day Project* with #100DaysofVR. I’ll be taking a 360 photo or video each day to learn the ropes and to document moments from my daily life.

I’ve started things off with a simple studio tour, but I have lots of ideas about sharing the messy middle of motherhood in this medium.

Shoutout to my Patrons who funded this project! I saved six months of Patreon pledges to buy this 360 camera and I’m so excited to see what type of stories this format can help me tell.

Interactive 360 isn’t supported on Instagram yet so I will be hosting my 100 days on a secret YouTube playlist.

I will be also sharing sneak peeks and behind the scenes on my @kindlecuriosity account which I have set up as an “experimental art lab”. 🧪🧫🥽

*Can you believe I haven’t done a 100 Day Project before?

More mess

I’ve been thinking about how I can be more intentional with my energy on Instagram. I asked myself what I wanted and here is where I am.

1. I want more mess. Less glossy curation and more messy middle. Both in what I’m consuming and what I’m creating. (This change in perspective is thanks to Amie McNee and it is equal parts terrifying and freeing.)

2. I am here to share my art and encourage others to make stuff too. (Somewhere I picked up the idea that I *should* be representing “authentic motherhood” which is A. impossible and B. not my wheelhouse. It’s just not my responsibility to share all of “the hard parts.” I will only share what feels right for me.)

3. I want more original content and fewer reposts. (I’ve been experimenting with muting 90% of stories. Now I only see stories from a handful of people. No more infinite loop! With less noise I am more able to actively engage and less likely to doom scroll.)

4. I am artist, not an advocate. (I care deeply about many issues, but I will only post about them here when I have the bandwidth to make informed and intentional content. I am not the news. It’s not my job to comment on every breaking story. Neither is it impactful. I find my energies are best directed through my art, my university teaching job, and supporting advocates / non profits who are doing the work when it’s not trending.

5. I want real connections with actual people (especially kindred spirits.) To this end I’ve been doing some unfollowing. Mostly big accounts. And it’s forcing the algorithm’s hand. I’m seeing more and more content from my actual IG friends.

That’s it! What boundaries do you have or want on social media?

What we attend to

“We are fed by what we attend to.”

— Alan Jacobs (via Austin Kleon’s How to Eat a Book)

I find the lack of citation for internet quotes very annoying. So I will be documenting my IG quotes here on the blog. When relevant I will also link each of the breadcrumbs that led me to the quote as I have done above.

What is good for humans

“WHat is good for little humans is good for big ones

— Austin Kleon

I find the lack of citation for internet quotes very annoying. So I am documenting my Instagram quotes here on the blog. When relevant I will also link each of the breadcrumbs that led me to the quote.

Mother, Interrupted

I’m so excited to share the first piece completed in my new studio!

Mother, Interrupted.

A data weaving documenting the number of times I was interrupted by my one year old son. Each knot represents a moment I stepped away from the loom to tend to his needs.

This was ideated & prototyped in 2020. Woven over two months in several 20-40 minute sessions. The whole process was carefully documented in photos, videos, and podcast chats with my supporters over on Patreon.

What I Use to Podcast

One of my Patrons asked about the podcast gear I used so I thought I’d drop it here.

If you’re new to podcasting I’d definitely suggest buying what’s affordable to you and upgrading when you have a better idea of what you want.

I earn a small commission from affiliate links at no cost to you, but buy these wherever you can find the best deal.

I started out with the Blue Snowball Mic (USB) which I found on clearance. Its a USB mic I used to record all of the Kindle Curiosity interviews on my desktop computer. It’s a decent mic, but not very sturdy. The plastic stand eventually broke on me and I had to buy a replacement.

When I started recording podcasts for Patreon each month I upgraded to MOVO with a headphone jack. I use a lightning adapter to plug it straight into my iPhone. Its super easy and I can record anywhere. You can put it on any tripod. I like to use a small tabletop tripod like this one.

I found this cool egg crate thing to muffle sound on FB marketplace. Here are some similar options.

(I bought it to use with my fancy AT2020 mic. But I think the MOVO sounds just as good and is much easier to use. Maybe I’ll use the AT2020 when I record my audiobook.)

Here’s my workflow…

1, Record in the iOS Voice Memos app.

2. Minimal editing in Ferrite on my iPad.

3. Music intro from Melody Loops.

4. Upload to Red Circle for podcast hosting & distribution.

That’s it!
Happy podcasting!

Fermenting a revolution

I didn’t blog about this experience, but I wanted something to remember it by so saving these IG stories. You can read more about it at Gen Space NYC.

Studio Tour

It’s finally here!

Click below to watch a tour of my new studio.

A year of making… January

When I started my year of making I had intentions for writing weekly updates for my blog or newsletter. Then the month unraveled, our whole family got sick, and I shifted into survival mode.

So I’m giving myself some Brownie points for being flexible (not easy for an Autie) and picking up the pieces to write monthly check ins instead.

The month started by easing in with baking and journaling and photos for Davy’s first (half) day of Montessori school.

Then I tried to calibrate my new Cricut. (It was a hate-hate relationship… in the end I returned it and used the money to buy electroforming supplies instead.)

And the second week we came down sick. First Davy, then the whole family. It was his first time having a fever for anything besides teething. The first few days I kept track of making soup and tea and macaroni out of a box. Then my own fever went up and it was all I could do to just keep us going.

It’s a tribute to what I’ve learned through motherhood that I was able to let that go and look back with empathy instead of self judgement. It was hard.

A couple days out from February we started coming alive again and I resumed my making quest. The final day of January was my first proper day making art in my new studio. I returned to an art project I started in February 2, 2020 and had been on the shelf ever since.

My takeaways from this month?

Sometimes you honor your inner artist by resting and healing. Sometimes making what you need for survival is enough. Other times you have the energy to pick up a long lost project and you stitch two timelines together through the metaphysical magic of time travel.

UPDATE: September 2021

I hid this blog post when I stopped writing monthly updates. At the time I was discouraged because we were sick every month from January - May and my year looked nothing like I had imagined. Looking back I can see how I did keep making (in small and simple ways), but I didn’t have the time or energy to document. Then in June (the first month none of us fell sick) my creative world expanded. If you’re finding it hard to create at the moment I see you. Don’t give up. Take the small moments you can. They count even if no one else is seeing them.

Behind the Scenes

Behind the scenes of my shed to studio conversion.

My Word for 2021

I didn’t choose a word last year. Or the year before that. I’ve been in a metaphorical hibernation since Davy was born. Snug and still even before 2020 locked us all down.

These 18 months have been a time of dreaming and ideation. I have had more creative ideas during postpartum than any other time in my life.

Yet, action came in waves. Small lapping pond waters. Occasional crashing whitecaps. Doodles and book drafts. It was inconsistent, but it kept me afloat. The ideas I didn’t have time or energy to complete I gathered up and squirreled away for another time.

I’ve chosen the word Make for 2021 because I want to establish a daily creative practice. To put those ideas I’ve collected to use. 

I want to make more art, but gently. I need flexibility to tend a sick babe or adjust my pace to avoid burnout. Some days I might paint or weave and others I might make beans on toast. Both are equally valid.

It’s an invitation to create everyday and a curiosity to see how that unfolds.

If you’d like to follow along I’ll be writing about my year of making in my newsletter. I’ll drop an opt in box here to make it easy.

P.S. After drafting this post I did a search for “year of making” and rediscovered Kim Werker who I followed what feels like a lifetime ago. I must have been riding some subconscious inspiration. Kim’s year of making was in turn inspired by Miriam Felton so it’s one big beautiful swirl of inspiration. 🌀 If you want to join in just use their hashtag #yearofmaking.

Shed to Studio DIY

Since my last update we’ve been hard at work. We “finished” the studio right before we were hit with a winter wonderland. Once the snow melts I can finally begin moving in!

After the insulation was put in we went to work on the shiplap walls. I love how it looks, but it can be very time consuming. I chose MDF because it is cost effective and the boards don’t bow like pine sometimes does. They were also available prepainted which saved so much time!

I painted the floor before the walls went up because I wanted a spatter painted effect.
It did get a bit scratched and scraped during all the woodwork so I’m not sure I’d recommend that (although I can’t imagine slinging paint after the white walls went up!)

I was researching painted floors and learned that spatter painting was historically used on floors of seaside cottages in Cape Cod. It’s a technique I learned for scenic painting during my theatre training and I loved the idea right away. (Spatter is small dots where a splatter with is more Jackson Pollock.)

I used two coats of light grey porch paint directly on the particle board as a base. Then I watered down white and green paints for spatter.

When the walls were done we added corner and ceiling trim to hide the mess. It was particularly tricky around the dormer windows because there were weird slopes and angles up there, but trim can cover a multitude of sins!

We used beadboard for the ceilings. Originally I planned for shiplap, but we began to realize we would need a second ladder to manage that. The switch to beadboard made it much easier (and faster!)

One thing I hadn’t considered was window trim. Nathan did it very simply in something between a Mission and Craftsman style.

Next we had Lowe’s mix up a gallon of paint to match the shiplap and went to work painting all the bare wood. (You can also spot a tiny pegboard wall behind the door!)

Suddenly, after feeling like the project would never end, its practically done! So excited to move in and decorate.

If you’re converting your own shed I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions!

My New Studio

When I shared my plans to convert a shed into a backyard studio y’all asked me to document the process. It’s finally arrived so here we are!

The shed itself was custom built by a local business called Thrifty Backyard Portable Buildings. It is a lofted 10x16 with winterized windows and a residential front door. I honestly hated to give up the “barn door” look, but this will help me to cool it in summer and heat it in winter so I compromised and asked for a door with a window. Extra light is always a good thing.

The paint color is Sherwin Williams Underseas which is based on Farrow & Ball Castle Grey. Because it’s a custom color they left almost 5 gallons of unused paint so I’m going to paint a few pieces of furniture to match.

The roof is white metal. I lived in a log cabin after graduate school and loved the sound of rain on the tin roof. I also think it will hold up better as we have a lot of hail here. I chose white because we have very hot summers and I didn’t want a dark color to attract heat from the sun.

There 6’ of windows where my desk will go. A 3’ window for the air conditioner. Dormer windows in the roof. And a small 2’ window for my “Instagram table” - a family heirloom I love using for photos that has been shoved in a closet since Davy arrived.

The building company also installed electrics. One light fixture for a ceiling fan and several power points including one outside for fairy lights.

We hired an electrician to hook it up to the house’s power supply and he also installed insulation. Everything else is up to us!

Next week: shiplap. ⚓️

Let me know if you have any questions. I’m happy to help!

Discover Your Creative Ecosystem Preorder

A creative ecosystem includes every condition within which we create. I developed this metaphor to help me build a healthier creative practice. Each element of a natural ecosystem (sun, water, air, etc.) is matched with a creative counterpart (body, mind, environment, and so on.)

I’m working on the final edits for that book right now and will be launching it on Indiegogo in April.

If that’s a book you want to read

sign up for my mailing list.

P.S. Looking for my creative motherhood book? Read about it’s progress here.

Images via Unsplash

Taking up Space

Finding the space and time to create as a new mum has been a challenge, but this quarantine has definitely magnified the situation.

I spent the first few months in survival mode and didn’t even touch my book manuscript. When I started trying to edit I really missed the tranquil haven of the library. I have auditory processing difficulties as part of my Aspergers which make it hard to focus when it’s not quiet. Meanwhile my husband discovered he may be working from home permenantly so we’ve had to explore some long term solutions.

Enter the garden studio. We’ve ordered a 10 x 16 backyard shed with windows and electricity that’s due to arrive any time now! When it comes in we’re adding insulation and fitting it out as a studio. I’ll be documenting the whole process here and on Instagram. 

I realize this isn’t a solution for everyone, but my Aspergers has made it really essential for our family if I am to continue working. I’ll use it to write, to create art, to coach, and to freelance.

I find that it can be incredibly hard to say, “I need this.” Even when the solution is within our grasp. Many women have been raised to put their own needs last and taking up this kind of space doesn’t come easily. It was my own mama that did the research on affordable sheds, found rent to own options, and convinced me that this was a possibility worth exploring.

Maybe you don’t need a whole studio. You could convert a guest room, a closet, a drawer, or even a bag to gather up the supplies you need. 

How can you take up more space for your art?

I’d love to hear.

Slowing Down

I find inspiration comes from paying attention. 🌿

Slowing down.

Noticing details.

Feeling my feelings.

Musing.

Investigating.

Dreaming.

I know in my bones that this is why I’ve had a resurgence of creativity over the past year. Motherhood forced me to slow down. To tend to my baby, my body, and my mental health. Sometimes taking care of myself and Davy was all I could manage. So I slowed, but I didn’t stop noticing. I kept lists of images and ideas and metaphors. Then when I was ready to return to creating I had a whole book bubble out.

I’m already noticing a new shift as Davy is becoming more independent. I have a tendency toward filling space with busyness, but I want to defend this slowness with the ferocity of a lioness.